By: Tase Shairulla
I remember the first time I met Sherry. I was a young, optimistic, 16 year old at a basement house party. She was sitting amongst her family members, who seemed to be paying attention to every word she uttered. There was an obvious notion of respect beaming from those surrounding her. Sherry had a smile that radiated throughout the room and beauty unfathomable to a teeny-tiny adolescent such as myself. She introduced herself to me, and I was immediately struck by the kindness behind her words and expressions.
To say the least, six years later, a lot has changed. As with many teenagers and youth alike, I became jaded by the harsh realities of life. I entered a post-secondary institution with the bright optimism of the future, and quickly learned to settle for less.
As students, our philosophy of thinking becomes centered around achieving only the reasonable; only the attainable and never the impossible.
On the other hand, in the last decade, Sherry continued to adapt and evolve while maintaining an aura of positivity. She is a former Miss Toronto, a professional life coach, an entrepreneur, a youth advocate, a globe trotter, blog contributor, and an all round household name on the streets of Toronto.
So, I ask myself where I went wrong. We consider ourselves “realists” once our optimistic, adolescent personalities dissipate as our lives progress. However, as Sherry notes, we create our own realities. If each individual’s reality is based on the socially accepted notion of despair and unhappiness, then this becomes our reality. However, if every person sets his or her goals, explored their capabilities, and believed beyond the impossible – they would create their own realities.
Sherry has sparked a new wave of optimism in my life, and for many others. Her philosophies are refreshing, and the depth of her wisdom is remarkable considering her young age. Nonetheless, Sherry is a leader for our generation who continues to work towards greater civility among our communities and within our world.
1. For many people, there are points in our lives where we realize that our life will be forever changed, either positively or negatively. What was your turning point, and how has that moment influenced the person you are today?
At age 14, I had a huge dispute with my mom. I remember leaving the house and taking a street car downtown. Initially, I wanted to be in the city with no set plan. I allowed myself to simply ‘be’ in that moment and within my surroundings. Then, I ended up at a bookstore and picked up a book titled “There Is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem” by Wayne W. Dyer. I opened it up and the page before me said something like “To Hate you Must Have Love.”
At that time, I had a very interesting relationship with my mother. There was always a reason I couldn’t have certain things, and I got tired of it. I wanted cool clothes, and by simply stating that we were financially strapped to afford those things was not a solution for me. Thus, I found a way to make it happen – a solution of sorts – when I began working at a McDonalds. My first job gave me independence, and empowerment. I learned at this point that there is always a solution when you really want something. In addition, one cannot think of the solution when wallowing in the problem.
Leaving the house that day allowed me to gain a different perspective on my relationship with my mother. I realized one could not hate without having loved that individual to begin with. My mother is my greatest teacher, who has tested me and made me grow because she pushed me to my limits which helped me surpass barriers and raise the bar for myself. I took responsibility for my actions, while also taking responsibility of her actions because I gained a greater understanding of her as an individual. I only realized this by stopping and reflecting on the situation, which I find extremely important to this day.
2. One of your many endeavors include a career as a professional life coach. What does your career as a life coach entail, and how did you end up pursuing this profession? How have your experiences changed you and helped you grow as an individual?
A life coach is there to ask the questions that you would like to ask yourself, that you know how to ask yourself, but you won’t hold yourself accountable to them because these questions are somewhat hard pressed.
These questions are difficult because we get scared to answer them. Our mind reverts back to something comfortable, and it becomes a natural response. A life coach bridges the gap between where you are to where you want to be. We also hold you accountable for your actions, and the steps you are taking in that direction.
I ended up in this profession while working at a regular nine-to-five office job, sitting in front of a computer, and thinking that this job would be the absolute death of me. I began exploring, and thought about what I actually loved doing, which is making others feel better about themselves through conversation. The one person who came to mind was, of course, Oprah. She was able to create a career out of her passion to help others.
My career and experiences as a life coach has shown me that, again, there is always a solution and ‘no is never no’.
3. Further, you are an avid traveler. Why do you think travelling is important
and how does it contribute to one’s empowerment and independence?
I began travelling with my mother at a very young age. The memories that one acquires from trips with families and friends are priceless, and I associated those good feelings of excitement and exploration with travelling in general.
Travelling is important because it allows you to step away from life, away from the hustle and bustle, and allow yourself to grow and see what the world has to offer. While doing this, you also become grateful for the many, many things we have in our own lives.
4. As a former Miss Toronto, you must know a thing or two about healthy eating and body consciousness. Do you believe that there is a connection with success and weight? What suggestions would you make to people who correlate success with body shape and size?
Honestly, I don’t think there is a connection between success and weight. While participating in the pageant, I focused on being perceived as an intelligent candidate, and not simply looking good. Then, I realized I could still feel good about being attractive and there was nothing cocky nor egoistic about that notion. You don’t need another person to confirm your beauty, strength, or confidence – you are the only person who should create your own personal definition.
Everyone has a card that they’re dealt with, and we all have to know what we have been dealt with. For example, if you’re great at math, then focus on that. Instead of working against it, and not shining at all, focus on your strengths. Feeling good is more important than looking good.
5. Some people view a woman’s independence as synonymous with singlehood. Why do you think some see it this way?
Today, I believe that women are not settling per se. They may be looking for compatibility. Some women seeking a companion can be independent, but they can also be quite picky which deters the development of any relationship. Personally, I’m looking for a companion, a ‘best friend’ type who is strong enough to provide for a family and myself when necessary. The key words are ‘when necessary’; that is, we understand our separate lifestyles outside of the relationship and allow each other to enjoy those aspects of life without interference.
Both men and women need to be open to relationship opportunities, despite their lifestyles, and should have fun while engaging in these moments.
6. Realistically, do you think females can be financially secure, successful, and have a stable family? In other words, can females really have it all?
I do! Nonetheless, it takes work – anything you value in life will take work. Once we work for something, we actually enjoy it.
7. Notwithstanding all your success, what are your goals for the long term future?
One of my long term goals include running life skills workshops internationally. In addition, I would like to make a larger contribution to the less fortunate. I would like to empower them and hopefully help them feel like they have the power to change any barriers they face. Lastly, I would like to write a book or be part of a television show as an avenue of empowerment.
8. In your own terms, what does success mean to you?
Success is defined by the individual; my definition of success is set in my mind alone. We are the authors of our own books. Have a goal, and achieve it. The road to success is guaranteed to be filled with absolute failure. If we learn from a failure, then it will become part of our path to success.
9. Let’s leave with your favourite inspirational quote.
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” – M. Gandi.
Everything we do in this world is for love – to get love, to give love, to feel valued. If we just took time to be patient with another, we would all get what we want. We must share first, and it begins with sharing yourself with others. Everything else will follow.
